My body is combatting another flu don’t mind my ramblings. I enjoy having the space to discuss and receive feedback... What I mean by selfish or losing this selfishness is that perhaps my aim should be to practice love where ideas of self, expectations of love and even these ponderings crumble. Nothing wrong with wanting more- ... Inayat Khan, from his writings, doesn’t seem afraid to die and I suppose in this evolution of understanding god or even pursuing ones ideals there are different modes of death... yet I am still terrified and cling to my ego and its interaction with the material... This is healthy and I accept that I still have many years of lessons with this life. I have experienced both attraction and repulsion when sharing with loved ones... perhaps the importance here is to enjoy when the love is reciprocated, free of any other form... inayat Khan has eloquently stated...
“Sayings of Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
SURAS
(God speaking through the kindled soul)
Life is reality, death is its shadow; but as the shadow is seen and yet non-existent, so is death.
Death opens a door between life here and hereafter. Death is a silent voyage to the port of eternity.
Death is no more death to those who have once experienced its sting.
Death is but the turning of a page of life;
to the eyes of others it is death, but to those who die it is life.
”
http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/say/nirtan_suras.htm
In the midst of my struggles I am reminded of this saying...
“To err is human; to forgive, divine”
To prevent from posting again...I wanted to come back and add, you really have to shed or experience an egoic death to alleviate your suffering... and maybe so it is just a taste before a welcoming home(experiencing a purer form of the ideal I.e, love) once this body actually ceases...
Just rambling...