Is this because they can sense my calm and loving nature and do not like it so they try to suck away my happiness, spiritual energy and soul. They try to fail my efforts in life and get kicks out of it. It always seems to end in aggression though, I used to bottle up everything said to me but I see red when dark workers pick on my, I go mad and want to hurt them. They always seem to pick on me for having red hair or tell me that I'm useless, ugly and ask me what would you know about having a hard life/pain etc. (obviously I don't tell them that I had a major episode of depression and financial problems/unemployment as a result)
I just seem to get laughed at. I love who I am and I wouldn't be any other way, I like helping other people as much as I can, I have time for anyone so where am I going wrong in the eyes of these lower workers.
Last night I went out with my friends and one of my friends boyfriends has always bullied me, he is always trying to start fights with people. I've been angry with him in the past and had a go at him because he was abusive to me. Last night I went over to where my friends were, he was there too and he just decided to punch me in the face (don't worry I wasn't hurt) So I tried to hit him back but I was dragged off by my friends but which time I was in this red tunnel of adrenalin and rage (I don't know where this comes from but I change into a mad man and just want to hurt the person who has hurt me, its like a berserk mode or something, like a switch in my mind). He left and started walking up the street I didn't go after him.
Why are all these people coming into my life, is there something to learn from these experiences, what am I suppose to learn from them? Am I suppose to help them (they don't listen to me they just laugh at me), Is it a sign of the times or what. Have I spiritually and mentally evolved to a level of compassion and drive, healing and calmness that people who make out that they are the best are greatly jealous of or what?
If anyone knows then please help me
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
Love and Peace always
Jimmy